A few housekeeping items before I share about my month:
First, moving forward my In Summation posts will become seasonal editions rather than monthly. I love these posts as a way to fill you all in on what’s happening in my life in and outside the pages of my books, but I feel that quarterly newsletters will allow me to spend more time crafting essays that feel substantial and meaningful. This will also leave me room to add in additional posts if I have something I really want to share. I’m looking forward to my personal posts becoming more robust and thoughtful, even if they arrive in your inboxes less frequently.
Second, I am currently planning my content calendar and I would love to know what you want to see! You can use this form to suggest topics for Reading in Public and Friday Mood Recs. I am also seeking questions for my recurring Ask FictionMatters reading advice column and gaging interest in some possible forthcoming content…
Finally, my back-to-school sale is still happening and will be ongoing until the Fall Fiction Compendium releases. New subscribers can get 20% off annual subscriptions to FictionMatters from now until September 15th.
Today’s is a long newsletter! For the best experience, open this post in your web browser or in the Substack app.
When Louise was around 7 or 8 months old I came across an Instagram story from an influencer that utterly enraged me. This person was sharing about traveling with babies and said something along the lines of, “if the parents are calm, the kid will be calm.” Having spent the previous 7-8 months calming a reflux-ridden collicky infant, nothing made me more livid than the insinuation that parents can simply will their children into serene states by mellowing out themselves.
I’ve grown more tolerant of off-hand parenting commentary, but I still bristle when influencers assert advice that is 1000% dependent on the temperament your child arrives on this planet with: work the baby into your lifestyle, not the other way around; get out of the house and do something for you every day; travel with the baby early and they’ll just get used to it. This is all well-intentioned and we moms need and deserve pep talks to do things for ourselves! But the idea that you’re not thriving if your day-to-day life looks totally different or (worse!) that you can shape any child into a go-with-the-flow, easy to transport creature by just doing it more is just plain silly.
I say all of this because while I am about to tell you about my first experience traveling internationally with a toddler, I want to state unequivocally that whether or not you are willing or able to travel with children is not a marker of parenting success. It’s okay if your lifestyle during the early years is purely about survival. Your kid does not need to travel as a tiny person to make them decent travelers later in life. And trust me, they will not be calm just because you are, no matter how much zen you’re able to channel.
When you’re ready, it will be great! And also awful. But mostly great. So here’s a bit about our trip and what I learned along the way.
Outside the Pages
We went to England in August to celebrate my mom’s birthday and to try out a foray into international travel with Louise. We’d gotten her a passport last year in the hopes of perhaps planning something and then this England trip came together through a mix of fortuitous timing and a British Airlines credit that needed to be used.
This felt like the perfect first international trip. We’d be going somewhere where we speak the language. There is a direct flight from Denver to Heathrow. And, most importantly, our adult-to-toddler ration would be 3-to-1.
And it was wonderful! We had prepped Louise a lot for the redeye flight there, telling her she would get to watch Daniel Tiger, then we would have dinner ON A PLANE, and then we would all go to sleep…ON A PLANE. She was delighted by the plan and it went pretty smoothly! I was nervous she wouldn’t fall asleep easily because we couldn’t really cuddle in our seats, and it took her awhile, but she did eventually sleep well and all the way until landing! We adults did not sleep so well, but we all felt such relief at her sleep that we were in great spirits upon our morning arrival.
Our itinerary was to spend five nights in London and then four in the Cotswolds. We stayed on the edge of Notting Hill and Kensington, which was a great spot with a kid. There were sooooo many playgrounds within walking distance, though the more we explored the city, the more we realized that’s true of many neighborhoods. The playgrounds in London are abundant and they are cool! Lots have mini trampolines and zip-lines, which Louise was so into. Anything novel will hold her attention much longer!
Some London highlights: